Audax Alpine Classic bike ride
Saturday 27th January 2007

Short Story
200km; 3850m ascent; 7:43hrs
The longest, hilliest, toughest goddam ride I've ever done. Oh my god.
Rode well for 5hrs up Falls Creek and back to Bright. But Mt Buffalo humbled me like never before...
Ridden in memory of Sam Elder.

Long Story
"This is NOT a race. The objective is to complete the course in the given time." So say the Rules of the Audax Alpine Classic, an iconic event run by an organisation who run cycling events "for personal pleasure and not financial gain" (as if there's much of that anyway!!). Each year, usually on or about the Australia Day weekend, many hundreds of riders arrive in Bright for a tour of the local snowfields - sans snow - but, of course, none are there to race. And it's a truly motley crew who come along. Young, old, big, small, fashionable, un- fashionable, and fast and slow. And did I mention the huge range of bikes? It really is a great community event, where really, racing just "wouldn't be cricket".

And that's very fortunate since I really don't like racing....much. (NOT!!)

It's taken a few years of suggestion, encouragement, cajoling...and a bit of trash talk...from a few friends to finally take on the challenge of Alpine Classic. 200k is just one of several distances - 70k, 130k, 140k also. Previously I've claimed Aust Open tennis spectating responsibilities with good friends Daz & Raz as priority, however this year the tournament scheduling changed by 1 week. My back-up excuse was that I'm a gumby bike biker who'd struggle to make it up a molehill let alone a mountain. But like the boy who cried wolf, that excuse had worn thin (...even though it's still true!!). So with no options remaining I was in, and after nearly 2500km riding since xmas I was kind of ready for it. Well, maybe...

But this event had a very sad and solemn aspect to it. Friend to many and fellow Tribal club member Sam(antha) Elder had tragically died just the day before from injuries sustained in a bike accident 1 week earlier. Sam was a beautiful person, young, enthusiastic and with so many good things going for her. I was fortunate to know her well through a weekend trip away we shared for the Great Ocean Rd marathon last year, and will remember her as a wonderful person, determined and passionate about all the things in her life. For me, her legacy will live on through the encouragement and knowledgeable advice she offered me about pursuing some interests I have. Thank-you, Sam. You'll be missed by many. Rest in Peace.

On the start line I paused for a minute to remember Sam...this ride would be in her memory. A heck of a lot of her determination would be needed on this day.

Gathered in the early dawn start area in downtown Bright were hundreds and hundreds of cyclists - there were about 1900 people in all the events. Every different colour and combination of patterns on jerseys, from local bike shop colours to the big Euro team jerseys. And more variety of bikes than you've ever seen, including a fair number of recumbent bikes. All this amidst a wonderful community atmosphere and camaraderie in the cool morning air - the weather would turn out to be perfect. And spot on time at 6:20am we rolled out and into the alpine odyssey.

"This is NOT a race". Remember those instructions?? Clearly easy to forget since the pace we set off at was break-neck for the task ahead. There must have been nearly 500 or more cyclists in a huge line out of Bright cracking along at 40kmh+...bl**dy hell!! Too fast to take in the beautiful scenery we'd be riding through during the day. Bright is nestled in a most wonderful location, surrounded by mountains covered in bush with breathtaking views from their peaks. As an oasis from hustle-bustle, and ultimate serenity, Bright has it all and the 200k ride would take us on a fantastic voyage through, up, and over the best parts of it. Oh, my kingdom for a camera...and time to take photos!!

The first hill - there were 4 major climbs in the course - came at about 10km, up and over Tawonga Gap. The bunch had split and I was in the 2nd group as we ground our way up. Only about 8km long this climb was relatively short and sweet – albeit pretty tough – and over the top we had a great view down into Mt Beauty valley and beyond to Falls Creek, our major destination, way up in the sky…

If I’m gumby going uphills then I’m a super-gumby going down. Basically, I get scared and have all these bad visions of either my tyres skidding away under me, or flying off the edge of a hairpin bend, through the air and into another world I’m not ready for. So while the other cyclists descend like kamikaze pilots, I’m the kamikaze pilot who failed school because I was scared I’d get hurt. Staying on 2 wheels in #1 priority…which I did, but had some work to catch up to the bunch at the bottom.

So the next obstacle was Falls Creek. A well known and popular ski resort in winter, and popular summer destination for hiking, mountain biking and running. But I’ve never been there until now. A beautiful road with stunning valley views, a couple of big dams and the sun streaming through the bush. In places the bush was black and burnt, either from the recent fires or from those in years past. From a distance the regeneration takes on an eerie appearance, and up close the freshly burnt area still smells of smoke.

Overall the Falls Creek climb was about 30k but only really tough in the last 12-15k or so. I climbed pretty well and into the cold air and wind at the Falls Creek check-point, inside the top 20 or so riders…but noone was counting since it wasn’t a race, remember?? And I was feeling pretty good.

There were helpful volunteers at each check-point, who were great. At Falls Creek one offered to hold my bike while I got off to check-in, grabbing it by the seat and thus preventing me from swinging my leg backwards over it to dismount. So as I tried to hop off sideways, the horizontal overtook the vertical and I landed on the ground with my bike on top of me and the volunteer wondering what the hell went wrong!! There was a lesson in that for everyone…

We re-traced our wheel tracks back down to Mt Beauty, up and over Tawonga Gap and down into Bright at the 130k mark and another check-point. As the cycling doyen Phil Ligget might say, I was “dancing on my pedals” and actually riding quite well and still well up in the field. But soon after the dance moves turned started tripping. Mt Buffalo was ahead…

As you drive to Bright, Mt Buffalo looms as a massive chunk of exposed rock about 1km vertically above – there seems to be no gentle/easy way up (too right!!). Also a ski resort, my first ever trip to the snow was here with a great day on the toboggans for the family, until the last run of the day when young Sam – probably about 2 or 3yo – had a stack and ends up with stiches in his cheek. Ouch!! It seems the association of Mt Buffalo, the Maffett family and pain lives on to this day.

As you get further in the shadow of Mt Buffalo without going up, simple geometry says the road must be steep. And after a few little tempters the real hill hits you. Wham!! And right then I snapped like a twig. Gone. Blown. Bonked. Smashed. Hit the wall. The clock had just clicked over 5hrs and some rough calculations came up with at least 1:30hrs of climbing – grovelling – to the top. Non-stop, uphill pedalling. Oh my god, I was barely moving.

There were quite a number of cyclists going up, and some coming down – a mix of people in the different distance events. As I saw them coming down – all range of people – I thought, geez, if they can do it, so can I. But I really wondered how. It was a bit like being forced to listen to painfully bad music; really, really bad music that hurts to hear, and with no way out for a long time. Just relentless and no number of jelly snakes or drink was helping. And the mountain still loomed large above our heads.

A bit of intermediate relief came via a water stop, where I mumbled a dazed request for a refill, paused a little and on auto-pilot wheeled back onto the hill. Turning around was not an option, and just unthinkable, but everything was saying to do so. But you just can’t.

I reckon Sam would have kept riding. And so on I rolled.

My heart rate was really dropping; a sure sign of exhaustion, and no amount of will power would pick it up. A little further I almost succumbed. I pulled over, crouched down on my bike and rested my head on my handlebars, trembling and seeing stars, hoping for some divine intervention. Alas, it didn’t come and the only way was still up.

1hr 45mins of uphill riding it took to get to Mr Buffalo Chalet and the turn around check point. People appeared strewn around on chairs, perhaps enjoying the cool air, the truly breathtaking view or the food and refreshment. Or just buggered out!! I was shattered and wondered how I’d hold on to steer back down the hill. But with barely a stop for breath I turned around to see if I could.

The downhill was pretty good, actually very good. Apart from missing one oncoming car on the wrong side by too little margin for comfort, it was pretty good fun. And seeing the hundreds of other cyclists and their determination getting up the hill was inspiring – what an amazing achievement by everyone who made it. And the view from various lookout points was fantastic. My kingdom for a camera!!

The last bit was a struggle back into Bright but you can taste the finish by then. 7hrs 43mins (incl all stops) for 200km. Bloody damn hard work and cursing the thought of ever contemplating it again. Completely out of energy but really glad I at least know what people talk about. I’ve got untold respect for everyone else who completed it, in all their shapes and sizes and abilities. Well done.

Sam would have been amongst those people, too, if she’d ever done it. I hope she enjoyed the view from her seat…and took some good photos!!

I’m not sure if I’ve shaken the gumby tag off just yet. Maybe I’ll have to come back next year to try again. Or maybe the Aust Open tennis will happily coincide with Audax again.

Play hard. Race even harder. Take care.

Thanks to Pete, Andrew and Sheena for encouraging me to do it, and well done to each. Thanks to Sheena for welcoming me into the house of 10 in Bright. And thanks to Audax for running the event.

Thanks to Fitzroy Cycles, Zoot sportswear, eGels, Bakers Delight and all the kind Tribal folk.